In effort to show that you really cannot make it up with American evangelicalism, I thought I would suggest the following as a gift for your teen-age daughter this Christmas: the “one-track mind” t-shirt. Yes, I stumbled across the renowned pious internet t-shirt emporium Hip-Edge.com, where they “spread God’s Word one T-shirt at a time,” is offering the little gem “One track mind” bright green t-shirt for only $14.75 (plus shipping) of your hard-earned Christian DOLLARS (of course, you can obtain this apparel wherever fine Christian t-shirts are sold, not just at Hip-Edge). And with the words “One-track Mind” plastered right across the chest. Although this troublesome saying has been usually reserved to reference those who only think about “you-know-what”, the devout brethren over at Kerusso* (the company that actually makes the shirt in question) have finally rescued it from its wordly clutches to give it a new “Christian” “spin.” And by wearing this T-shirt, anybody who does have a “one-track mind” for “you-know-what,” since this message is displayed in so prominent a place, may instanteously get saved. Can somebody shout “Glory”?!
You see, Hip-Edge.com is smart. In their “About Us” portion of the website, they talk about how they know the world is taking over. Society’s losing its moral compass. That’s where Hip-Edge.com comes in. They will force the gospel message on people, even if it is plastered across their chests! They are tapping into the “explosion of Christian sentiment in the world,” but it’s up to us to “take a stand” by wearing T-shirts. This may seem contradictory to you, dear reader (that the world is taking over even though there is this big explosion of Christians), but this should not worry you. The point is that you should wear their T-shirts. Because somebody may get saved. And then that person will wear T-shirts. And then more and more people will get saved, like its compounding. And then more and more t-shirts are being worn. Pretty soon, the whole world will be saved. All because you had the guts to wear a Christian T-shirt. How’s that for a investment from your little $14.75 (plus shipping)?
*Permission was requested from Kerusso to display the copyrighted image of the t-shirt in question on this blog. Permission was declined.