A church was going through a battle in the worship wars. About half the congregation wanted liturgical lap dancing (a ministry to the married congregants only, of course), where the other half were taking a firm stand against it. Finally the Sunday came where the Pastor sat down with the leaders of the different factions to hash things out. Tensions were high. Disagreements were profuse. Then the Pastor had a moment of unparalleled wisdom.

“Listen, these are matters that outside of what the Scripture explicitly addresses. That makes them matters of personal opinion. Got that?”

“Sure do, Pastor” the men said.

The Pastor continued, “The unity of the church is really being upset by the side that wants lap dancing and the side that doesn’t. So I have something to say to the side that does not want lap dancing during the worship service. Listen, you are trying to impose your personal preference on the rest of the congregation when you have no chapter and verse. Don’t you know that what may be irreverent to one believer may be reverent to another? You are guilty of severely harming our unity. You should have known that you had no right to make your extra Biblical conclusions about lap dancing as authoritative as the Scripture itself. You can share your opinions around here (you know that we care about those), but you cannot preach your opinions.”

“Wow, Pastor, that was profound,” said the leaders of the conservative faction. “We’ll do our best to be more accommodating in the future.”

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